3 Min Read

Propinquity simply means being close to someone or something—proximity.

It’s just a word, but in a lot of ways, it’s also a strategy. A timeless one. The idea is simple: the more you’re in someone’s space, sightline, or general orbit, the more likely you are to build a connection. It sounds basic, but I think we could all use the reminder.

In her book Platonic, Marisa Franco (I had never heard the word before I read her book 🙂) explains it like this:

“Mere exposure means that the people who end up building relationships are those who establish the most face time with the people around them. That is why research in college dorms has found that people who live at the ends of the hall develop fewer friendships than those who live in the dorm’s center. Centrally located rooms offer face time with more of your fellow dorm residents and the gift of mere exposure.” (p. 88)

Having worked in university housing for years, I can confirm this is 100% true.

We often get lost online or buried in our phones, forgetting that connection can be as simple as looking up. Sure, Zoom is easy—but real presence matters.

Psychologists call this the Propinquity Effect—the tendency to form relationships with people we see most often. Basically, proximity breeds fondness. I bet you can think of times in your own life where this played out. For me, as a more reserved person, I’m grateful for it. Being in groups, classrooms, or shared spaces gave me the chance to build strong relationships I wouldn’t have formed otherwise.

Being in someone’s space is a small shift that can make a big difference. Maybe it leads to a promotion, a new friend group, or even a relationship. Like so many things in life, it comes down to simply showing up—physically and mentally—in a positive way.

Where can you be more in Propinquity to your team, friends, and loved ones? Or challenge yourself by entering a new space!

Steve