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There’s a shooting activity I do with the soccer teams I coach called Power and Finesse. The goal is to build confidence and repetition at finishing—using both strength and touch. It can make all the difference in a game where chances to score are limited. Pick the wrong one at the wrong time, and you might miss your shot.

Through my years of coaching soccer, I’ve seen so many players believe that power is the answer. They think if they just hit the ball hard enough, it’ll find the back of the net. But so often, finesse is the better choice. Just because we have the power doesn’t mean we need to wield it. In fact, relying on power alone can actually limit us—it’s not always the best strategy to lead with force when precision, timing, or patience might be more effective.

The same goes for leadership. There are times when we need to use the power and influence we have, and there are times that call for a more measured, gentle approach. Pick the wrong one, and it can have consequences just as real as missing that open shot.

Sounds easy enough—just pick the right strategy at the right time. But just like facing down a goalie with defenders at your back, the pressure of the moment doesn’t always leave much room for reflection.

That’s where practice comes in. We can train ourselves to notice the situations we’re in and slow our minds down long enough to respond instead of react. The more we do it, the more we build those mental pathways—recognizing the moment, choosing the approach that fits.

It reminds me of the quote attributed to Miles Kington:

“Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”

If you’re making tomato sauce, you use the power of a press. If you’re making a Caprese salad, you use finesse to slice each tomato just right.

We all have the ability within us to use power and to finesse situations that call for it. The difference that sets great leaders—and great players—apart is the ability to recognize the difference.

Steve