Why do we assume that our supervisor will somehow solve the Rubik’s Cube of who we are?

The expectation is often on them. And when they don’t get it right, we get frustrated.

A question that comes up a lot in coaching sessions is
“Do you think they know that?”

We make a lot of assumptions in the workplace, on the field, and at home. But what if it didn’t have to be that hard?

What I am suggesting is not revolutionary, but it does require a shift.

It’s about the gift of self-awareness and, more importantly, the willingness to share that gift with others without being asked.

You have known yourself your entire life. They have not. Unless they are your parents, and hopefully your parent is not your supervisor, because that brings a whole different level of complexity.

Recently, this exact idea came up in a group coaching session. It is not new, but it is something people rarely act on.

Yes, you may have interviewed for the job or gone through a tryout. But those moments are like early dating. You are often putting your best version forward, not your full self. The strengths, the growth areas, the nuances. They are not all visible yet.

What I am talking about is being proactive.

Instead of waiting months for someone to figure you out through observation or one-on-ones, you help them help you.

Here are three simple ways to do that:

Share your values and motivations.
Let them know what matters to you. What are your non-negotiables? What drives you? How do you respond best when you need a push?

Let them know your strengths.
What do you do really well? What have others consistently told you? Give them something to work with.
In high school I could launch a throw-in a mile. It was a real weapon. When I got to college, no coach ever asked me about it, so I never brought it up. I just assumed they would figure it out. Looking back, that one is on me.

Be honest about your challenges.
Share your growth edges. What are you working on? Where do you struggle?
As a coach, I actually appreciate it when someone tells me, “Coach, that role is not going to work for me for this reason.” Some see that as pushback. I see it as trust.

None of this is complicated.

But we do not do it.

Instead, we hope that the people leading us will meet our needs without us ever clearly communicating them. And when they miss, we get frustrated.

Sometimes that frustration is valid.

But in many cases, we have not done everything we can to set them up for success in leading us well.

Because when you share how you think, what you value, and how you operate, you are not making their job easier.

You are making your experience better.

So if you have not done this yet, ask yourself:

What am I expecting someone to figure out about me that I have never actually shared?

And what might change if I gave them the blueprint instead of the puzzle?

Steve

Forward this to a friend 🙂